Hello Dennis:

A month ago my son got into some serious trouble along with his two roommates. The court states he has to stay away from his co-defendants until he finishes his drug counseling. In court my son passed his drug test, but his roommates did not. After all of this is over, they will all reunite because they are BFF'S [best friends forever] and have been involved in a rap singing group since they were 13 (now 19.) I am worried sick my son will mess up again because of his friends. He says he his sorry and was stupid and will prove it to me in time. I cannot get him to see that his friends will take him down. Help me to make him see. He is a good kid and just went away to college where he messed up big time. I do not trust him now, but I love him and am helping him out of this the best I can. He knows I will not help the next time. I know he has to learn, but that still does not keep my heart from breaking. Thank you. — Joanna

Hi Joanna:

Letting go is a hard task for all parents, but it is the task that you must perform here. He screwed up, realizes it, and took ownership of it, and you must let him be free to make these choices. Life is all about choices. If he makes the right ones, he will reap the benefits, and if he makes the wrong ones, he will suffer the consequences. This does not mean that you don't love him. That never stops. But lessons now will be learned by him and not by you teaching him. Keep him in your prayers, and always remind him that you love him and that you feel confident that he will make the right choices. Good luck. — Dennis